Big of the Year: Big Brother John and Little Brother Khalil
Date: January 30, 2023
Big Brother John and Little Brother Khalil first matched in January 2019, when Khalil was 12 years old and his mother, Octavia, felt that he needed a positive male influence. A single mom, Octavia knew that Khalil wanted a man in his life to teach him the lessons she couldn’t. He needed a Big Brother.
BBBSL found the perfect match for Khalil in Big Brother John Peters. John works as a facility security officer at Gov Solutions Group and has a genuine, giving spirit. "When you help other people, you aren’t just helping them," John said. "You’re helping yourself."
Since being matched with John, Khalil’s confidence has soared. The first time he met John, Khalil was extremely shy and could only greet John with a shy smile and a weak handshake. Four years later, Khalil is a self-assured, confident young man. And John is happy to report, "his handshake is much stronger now."
For their first outing, the pair went bowling. Khalil, thinking he was a skilled bowler, bet John he would win. Unfortunately for Khalil, his new Big won. "We got along well," John said. "It was the start of a relationship, a friendship."
From there, they discovered that they both enjoy going to the beach, to museums, on bike rides, and most of all, fishing and crabbing. They also like going to the mall, where one time, they took pictures in a photo booth and accidentally chose the "Mommy Loves Me" border. Each with their own copy of the photo strip, they sat in a pair of massage chairs and laughed.
While their relationship is light-hearted and fun, John always finds ways to turn their experiences into teachable moments. And Khalil is more than happy to learn. John gives Khalil driving tips when they’re on the road together and lets him practice on his riding lawn mower. Whatever the activity, Khalil is grateful to John for giving him the chance to try something new.
John has truly become a part of Khalil’s family over the years and he actively works with Khahil’s mother to make Khalil feel as supported as possible. "John is an official member of the family. I can count on him to step in and be there. He even comes over and fixes things like door knobs and shows us how to fix them. He’s a great Big Brother," says Octavia.
John stays in communication with Octavia and they work as a team to support Khalil. John is even on Khalil’s emergency contact list and picks him up from school when he is sick and his mother cannot take off work.
Octavia loves John’s approach to mentoring her son. "Mr. John is very hands-on with him," Octavia said. "He taught him how to mow the lawn, not once, but twice. He taught him how to change oil. He makes sure he’s on top of his education."
John comes from a rural farming family and values hard work and showing initiative. He had an opportunity to teach and inspire this work ethic in Khalil when he showed interest in making his own money and John worked with him to create his first paying job, doing yard work.
John has also taught Khalil lessons in being kind to others. John and Khalil often get haircuts together and John would always pay and tip the barbers while stressing the importance of tipping. After a few haircuts, John felt proud when Khalil took it upon himself to tip the barber with the small amount of money he had.
From the importance of paying it forward to basic car maintenance, John usually acts as the teacher and Khalil the student. However, these roles are easily reversed. In the short amount of time they have been matched, John has grown and changed in a way he could have never expected. From a candy bar to a fun outing, Khalil takes nothing for granted. "He appreciates those little things that I have forgotten," John said. "I’ve learned to step back and see that again."
John and Khalil consistently inspire one another while their relationship inspires those around them. Through his mentorship of Khalil, John has become more involved with BBBSL. He enthusiastically participates in all new program training and initiatives, became a member of BBBSL’s BIG Raise fundraising committee, and encourages other adults in the community to become Bigs.
John and Khalil have come a long way from that first nervous handshake. These days they don’t shake hands, they have their own secret handshake, which involves a hand slide and a fist bump, among other more complicated moves. John consistently shows up in his Little Brother’s life from fun outings to helping out around the house to making sure he was in the crowd to see Khalil receive his certificate for completing JROTC orientation. Even four years into their relationship, John and Khalil still look forward to growing together in the future and remaining matched in the program until Khalil graduates high school. "We’re still learning things about each other, even today," John said.
